This week I have been in Brighton visiting Lee. He has a fabulous new flat on the seafront in Kemp town and I was very lucky to have some sunny days down there. On Friday night we watched ‘Pictures of Lily’ by Mark Banks, which is a brilliant film set with beautiful Brighton as its back drop. On Saturday we went on the pier and nearly died on the waltzers. Sunday we played pool in the Marlborough and sang karaoke in Poison Ivy. We completely murdered Tina Turner’s ‘what’s love got to do with it’ and danced to a mega mix of Rupaul’s greatest hits at three in the afternoon. Then it was home and fish fingers for tea. I feel really well for getting away for a few days and still have one more day before I’m back at work. I have been reading Matt Haig’s ‘Reasons to stay alive’ and he mentions travelling and getting away from it all to be a good way of combating depression. It is comforting to know that once you have hit rock bottom that the only way is up. After reading this book I can say that I don’t think I have ever been as depressed as he describes but I do suffer from extremely low self esteem and lack of motivation. In the past I have turned to marijuana as a coping mechanism but now I have to find another way. Today is the final day I have to apply for the open degree at The Open University. I am so nervous and suffering severe self doubt. I hope I can do it.