Sadness

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This week I saw Inside Out with Caroline. Joy and Sadness go on a journey around Rileys head, who is basically, having a breakdown. Joy learns that she needs sadness in her life in order to be happy. I have so much sadness in my life right now that I can’t really handle it. My eyes hurt from crying. Every time I see Tam on Skype it makes me break down in tears. I want to come off medication but my psychiatrist has recommended that I don’t. I tried to install anti virus on my computer and now it won’t work so I am at my mums writing this on hers. No one at work knows about my sad secret. I am becoming a master at hiding tears. I’m depressed about the weight I’ve put on too.  It feels like I am still going through my breakdown where in fact I am actually just trying to recover from it. It may take a lot longer than I had hoped. I’m sorry to write such a depressing blog but this is part of my journey and I have to embrace it. I need to accept sadness as part of life so that I can be happy too. I don’t know when that will be. Work is going well and I have to concentrate on that. It is the only thing I can be positive about right now.

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