Feel the fear

This week I have been reading Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers. It has helped me have a more positive outlook on life along with the CBT that I have started having. The book states “to repeat to yourself at least twenty-five times each morning, noon and night: I AM POWERFUL AND I AM LOVED.” I found this a little excessive but I like the sentiment and it definitely helped saying it to myself when I was flagging yesterday at work. I was so tired and didn’t know how I was going to get through the day, but I managed it. The book draws a lot on affirmations and positive sayings so I decided to find some that work for me.

I found some great affirmations at louisehay.com. Here are just a few that I like:

“Every person, place and thing on this planet is interconnected with love. I am at home in the Universe.”

“All that I seek is already within me.”

“Every decision I make is the right one for me.”

I do appreciate the last chapter of the book entitled ‘There is plenty of time’ because it assures you that becoming a confident person is not something that will happen overnight and needs constant work to improve your self esteem. She talks about the inner voice or the ‘chatterbox’ which even as I sit here writing this, is telling me “Give up! You’re rubbish at writing. No one cares anyway!” .Telling yourself “I can do it” is hard but so important and it will take time to get used to it.  

I used my free cinema tickets to see Jurassic World with Drew this week. We had both already seen it but loved it so much we had to see it again! I love the chemistry between Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard. There are some really good jokes in there too. I think I like it even more than the original although it’s pretty hard to beat Jeff Goldblum being chased by a T Rex. When I was psychotic I was obsessed with dinosaurs. I had some very strange ideas about how we have evolved. I even thought I had the answer to the chicken/egg long asked question! That all seems pretty ridiculous now. Another film I have watched this week is Jupiter Ascending with Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum. I originally saw only half this film when I was in Bangkok still very ill. Tam, Ellie and I went to see it in 4D. Which is basically like being on a rollercoaster. The fighting scenes are crazy, being kicked in the back and having water sprayed in your face! Not exactly a relaxing time. Ellie got motion sickness and I was completely overwhelmed, thinking that the film was real and about me. So we left just as Mila was being discovered by Sean Bean as Queen of the world. It’s a good job we left when we did because the next bit had them both talking about dinosaurs and how they really met their demise! Apparently I told Ellie it didn’t matter at the time as I already knew what was going to happen. I loved the film, even after waiting for six months to see the second half, it didn’t disappoint. Luckily I saw it from a sane point of view this time and did not think it was, in anyway, about me. In the end, (spoiler alert) she goes back to her job cleaning toilets and everything is right in the world again. I knew everything would be alright in the end.

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