Back to the present

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I got the job in the cinema! I’m so happy. I have already worked three shifts and on Saturday I did eleven and a half hours which was exhausting but I did it! So far I have been ushering; checking peoples tickets, cleaning the screens and making sure everything is in order. Today I will be kiosk training, selling tickets and popcorn. Its the perfect job for me; don’t have to get up too early, talking about films with the other staff and I get to see two films a week for free! The standing for long periods of time is hard but I’m hoping I will lose some weight especially as I am cycling there and back too. Not having to start early also means that I can still help out with taking Drew to school when Ellie is working early shifts. It feels so good to be working again. I actually got offered some volunteering work as a costumed Victorian sweet shop owner in Kirkgate. Its unfortunate that I had to turn it down but its really great to be earning money and all the staff I have met are really lovely. 

Caroline sent me a link to this TED talk about vulnerability by Brene Brown. I really like TED talks so this one was interesting. I have felt a great deal of shame for the way I behaved when I was psychotic. I said and did some terrible things. I know that I was ill and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself but its really difficult. I still am yet to face the people that I offended back in Thailand so its still a worry for me even though I have emailed and skyped with alot of those people and they say they have forgiven me. This talk made me feel a bit better about myself. I’ve also had some good news – I have been put forward for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which I will be doing next Monday. This should really help me to cope with anxiety and depression in the future.   

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