All I seem to do is wait at the moment. Still waiting for the court hearing for Tam’s visa and I can’t even think about going back to Thailand until all that is over. My life is in limbo.Today I am waiting to hear whether or not I have been selected for a job at a local cinema. I really hope I get it. While I’m waiting I am trying to distract myself with different things; films, bike rides, shopping… nothing seems to end the frustration though. Looking on the bright side, we’ve had some really nice weather this week. Friday night was a really nice family night round at Caroline and John’s. They cooked us a delicious curry and had a few glasses of red wine. Sometimes I think my illness has brought me closer to my family.. well,it definitely has because I wouldn’t be here otherwise. I’m trying hard to find the positive in my situation. Its not always easy. I went to see my psychiatrist this week and he told me I had to stay on the meds and not reduce them for now. It was disappointing but I will take his advice. He did say that I was doing really well anyway. I just really want to see Tam. I have used up Ellie’s internet data because of Skyping him everyday. I deleted myself from Facebook because it gives me anxiety and depression. I don’t think people with mental health problems should be on social media!! I know I am a lot better now but I still get the urge to write obscenities on my wall sometimes… its just the way FB makes me feel!!! And I really don’t want to go there again!