Below is a picture of me taken on Long Beach, Koh Lanta on 1st January 2015. I was already well on my way to wild mania at this point but it was the magic mushrooms I took a couple of days later that really pushed me over the edge. By 15th January I had asked for an intervention by my friends Kerry and Megan. I was out of control and I knew it. The rest of what happened is a blur and I am trying to piece together my memory bit by bit. Waking up in Bangkok hospital was terrifying. I thought I had been there for years and years when it turned out to only be a few days. I stayed in hospital for one week and was then discharged by the incredible (former Miss Thailand) director, Dr Birth, who diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder. This diagnosis allowed me to leave the hospital and stay at my sister in laws house for a few weeks before making it back to England on 26th February. The diagnosis has now been changed to unknown. I am hoping it was a one off psychotic breakdown but there is a 51% chance of relapse in the first year so I have to stay in England to be monitored by the early intervention team.
In January 2015 I was sectioned in Bangkok after an acute psychotic breakdown in Krabi town. I made a miraculous journey back to England in February with my sister in order to receive treatment with the wonderful NHS. This is my story of recovery and mission to make it back to Thailand and rebuild my life.
Madam Noi is the name I was given by Thai nurses in Bangkok hospital mainly due to my refusal to take pills (it means ‘Little Madam’). They had to inject me in the end. Now I am on the mend I take my meds daily with full compliance. I admit now that I am ill. I am on a huge comedown after believing that I was 100 years old, could read every language and was on an important mission in cahoots with Russell Brand and RuPaul to bring world peace. The sad reality has finally dawned on me and I am now picking up the pieces of my broken life.